your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
