She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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