i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
we're making bets on your personal life
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
