Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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