I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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