i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
