I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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