They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
