Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
