yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
