you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
