Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
