tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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