i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
