I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
