Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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