What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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