i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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