i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
