Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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