i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
