Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
