So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Randomize
