one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
