i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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