Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize