So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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