I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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