i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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