i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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