I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
