OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
