I wanna bring you to show and tell
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
