i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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