the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
