If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
