I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
