omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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