Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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