i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
