Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
