You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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