so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
