Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
