i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
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