im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
