Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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