oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
