You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Pooping to opera.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
