Soap is not a condiment
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
